A Day in the Life…

6:20 AM: The alarm is incredibly loud; I want to punch something, hard. Finally locate the phone (we don’t have a real alarm clock and I refuse to pry open my eyes) and I am tempted to throw it out the window or against a wall, but I don’t, instead I hit the snooze button and tell Jen to wake up. Now.

6:29 AM: My snooze is 9 minutes, if Jen isn’t up yet, our whole morning will turn into a rush which isn’t worth the extra 9 minutes of sleep, unless its you getting those 9 minutes. If she got up at 6:20 than I scramble outta bed and hope she started the coffee. Jen has to shower first cuz she takes longer to get ready, which allows me to sleep in a bit. Another reason to love not being a female.

6:50 AM: Half a coffee cup down and fresh outta the shower, I try and do the dishes we have and hang up laundry while Jen does her best to take up all the space in our bathroom.

7:00 AM: I find clothes to wear, brush my fangs and put on deodorant, for the kids sake (I still remember all the teachers who had nasty coffee breath and/or B.O. that I had in school and I refuse to be that guy). Finish my coffee.

7:11 AM: Jen and I hustle from the house to make our train, it’s only a two minute walk to the train station, but if we miss it, we show up at work 15 minutes late and apparently, that’s frowned upon.

7:58 AM: If Jen didn’t feel like engrossing me in conversation the whole ride, than I have had the chance to read a few chapters in a book. Otherwise, we make shopping lists and laugh shamelessly at those unfortunates who run awkwardly to make the train, but don’t (many of the conductors in Germany are heartless). We arrive at work, which is conveniently only a two minute walk from our train stop.

8:45 AM: Kids have only been at school for 15 minutes but I’m ready to strangle at least two of them. Nobody has had “an accident” in their pants yet, but I know it’s coming eventually.

10:30 AM: First recess of the day, I’m so excited. The last two weeks have been beautiful so all I do during recess is play the mean playground teacher and work on my tan. I can do this for a living and do it well.

11:40 AM: Lunch time! I get a 30 minute break in which I check ESPN, NASCAR, USATeamhandball.org, my email and try to update Twitter and Facebook while I’m eating. O, and I stuff my face cuz I usually don’t have time for breakfast in the morning and I’m starving.

12:10 PM: I return to my class. 3-6 year old kids after lunch are crazy. 16 of them together is a site to behold, if I can get them to not destroy anything in the classroom in the 30 minutes I am alone with them, I consider the day a success. I help at least one kid change their soaking wet underwear, pants, socks and shoes. Who knew such small kids had such big bladders?

2:00 PM: Second recess of the day and the highlight of my existence. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and love the opportunity I have been given to make a difference in their lives and I can only hope I have a positive influence on their future outcome as a world citizen, but as soon as afternoon recess comes I know that my time of work/kid related stress is coming to a close for the day and this feeling is incredible.

2:35 PM: One kid manages to have an accident (see crap his/her pants) 10 minutes before his/her mother comes and I get to help them change into fresh clothes.

3:09 PM: God willing, all the moms (who don’t have jobs) have found the time to pick up their kids on time and Jen and I have made the train to head back home.

3:50 PM: Jen and I are back home and depending on the day, we have between 30 minutes and 2 hours to relax, eat, pack and catch our respective trains to practice. It takes us both an hour to two hours and a minimum of two trains and a bus to get to practice, but we have no other option, considering cars here in Germany are as overpriced as apartments in New York City.

~5:00 PM: We head out to catch our trains and enjoy an intimate moment in the underground tunnel before we must depart separately for our respective trains.

~6:30 PM: Arrive at practice, usually quite early because we don’t get to pick when the train/bus arrives.

~7:00 to 9:00 PM: Practice our asses off, we both got started playing handball too late and therefore we have to go as hard as possible every night to try and improve as quickly as possible. Both our coaches are great and are willing to work with us individually, which is a blessing. This is our once chance during the day to do what we came to Germany to do and we make the most of it. Best two hours of the day by far.

9:10 PM: Shower, water is free at the gym and expensive at home, always shower at the gym.

9:30 PM: Make sure we are back to the train station to catch the train. Every train we miss after 9 costs us an extra 45 minutes to get home, you learn the train schedule very quickly.

~11:30 PM: Arrive home, not as many trains run late at night so our options are limited, which means we spend a lot time in train stations waiting. This means I have a lot of time to read, which I enjoy. Eat something, because I’m hungry and than climb into bed to try and get as much sleep as possible before my phone asks to be thrown against the wall again at 6:20 the next morning.

12:00 PM: Rub Jen’s neck or back or Achilles because it hurts and she can’t fall asleep. Kiss my beautiful good night.

3:00 AM: Get up to pee, cuz I’m getting older (bladders shrink with age, apparently) and I drink as much water as possible to get hydrated on the train home.

6:20 AM: The alarm is incredibly loud; I want to punch something, hard.